Dutch Phrases for Tourists: Why 'Dank u' Means No Thanks (and the Check-Out Fine)
Somewhere in the Netherlands on your first morning, someone will hold out a pot of coffee and ask if you want more. You will smile, pleased to have a Dutch word ready, and say "dank u". The pot will go back to the counter. Nothing went wrong and nobody was being rude. A bare "dank u" in reply to an offer means no thanks, and the Dutch simply took you at your word.
The six traps below are each fixed by a phrase from the free Dutch Trip Kit, fifty phrases in five days with pronunciation.
"Dank u" can mean no
"Dank u wel" (dahnk ew VEL) is thank you, and "bedankt" is the everyday short form that works everywhere. The catch is what happens when someone offers you something. Answer with a plain "dank u" and the Dutch hear "no thanks". To accept, say "ja, graag": yes, gladly. Save "dank u" for afterwards.
When you do say thank you, the reply is "graag gedaan" (gladly done) or "geen dank". A shopkeeper may just say "alstublieft" again, which is the same word as please but here means "here you are".
A coffeeshop does not sell coffee
Ask for "Een koffie, alstublieft" (un KOF-fee, ahls-tew-BLEEFT) and you get a normal cup of black coffee, usually with a small biscuit and milk on the side. If you want it milky, the name is "koffie verkeerd", literally "wrong coffee", which is half milk and roughly a latte. Cappuccino is everywhere too.
The trap is the sign on the door. A "coffeeshop" in the Netherlands sells cannabis, not coffee. For a cup of coffee, look for "koffiebar" or "lunchroom". A Dutch "café" is a bar.
The waiter is not ignoring you
Table service in the Netherlands is relaxed, and nobody is avoiding you. Catch the waiter's eye and say "Pardon" (par-DON), or a polite "meneer" or "mevrouw". "Pardon" also works for a stranger's ear on the street. For a small bump, the Dutch say "sorry" (SOR-ree), pronounced exactly as in English. For a real apology, it is "het spijt me".
To get past someone on a full tram, in a market crowd or at a bar, use the full sentence "Mag ik er even langs?" (mahkh ik er AY-vun LAHNGS), may I just get past. A plain "pardon" is understood, but this sentence is what actually makes people step aside. The little word "even", just a moment, softens any request, and the Dutch use it constantly.
One related sound to learn fast: a bicycle bell ringing behind you. It means you are standing on the cycle path.
The bill, the card terminal and the "fooi" screen
The bill does not come until you ask for it, and sitting over empty cups is normal. When you are ready, say "De rekening, alstublieft" (duh RAY-kuh-ning, ahls-tew-BLEEFT), or the more Dutch "mogen wij afrekenen?", may we settle up. The waiter brings a card terminal to the table. If you are asked "samen of apart?", they want to know whether you pay together or separately, and paying separately is completely normal.
Now the tip, "fooi" (foy). Menu prices in the Netherlands include tax and service by law, so there is no cover charge line on the bill and nobody expects a big tip. Rounding up, or leaving five to ten percent for good service, is normal. The card terminal often shows a "fooi" screen; you can add something there, or say "maak er maar twintig van" to round the total up to twenty. Nobody chases you for it either way.
"Wilt u de bon?" and the other slip
At the till the cashier will usually ask "wilt u de bon?", do you want the receipt. You are not obliged to take it: answer "ja, graag" or "nee, dank u". If you want it, ask for "Het bonnetje, alstublieft" (ut BON-nuh-tyuh, ahls-tew-BLEEFT), and keep it for returns and for tax refunds.
There is a second slip worth knowing about. Bottles and cans carry a deposit called "statiegeld", 15 to 25 cents each. The return machine in the supermarket takes the empties and prints a "statiegeldbon", which you hand in at the till to get the money back.
Check out, or pay the flat fare
This is the fine that catches tourists. On every train, tram, bus and metro in the Netherlands you tap your card or phone on the reader when you board, "inchecken" (IN-chek-kun), and again when you leave, "uitchecken" (OWT-chek-kun). Forget the check-out and the system keeps a flat fare: twenty euros on the train, four on a bus, tram or metro. Travel without a check-in and an inspector fines you seventy euros plus the fare, or fifty if you pay by card on the spot.
Use the same card both times. When you switch from train to bus, check out of the train and check in again on the bus. The on-board announcement "vergeet niet uit te checken" is the reminder: don't forget to check out.
The other forty-two
These eight phrases are spread over days one to four of the Dutch Trip Kit: ten phrases a day for five days, each with a respelling you can read aloud, a tip like the ones above and audio. Day one works in the browser without an account, and the whole sheet prints on three pages for the plane.